Have It Out With – Meaning and Examples
Have you ever had a big disagreement with a friend, coworker, or family member—and decided it was time to talk things through honestly? In English, we often say you need to have it out with that person. This phrase describes a direct, often emotional conversation to clear the air, settle a problem, or end tension once and for all.
What Does “Have It Out With” Mean?
“Have it out with” means to confront someone in a serious or heated discussion to resolve a conflict, misunderstanding, or built-up frustration. Think of it like opening a pressure valve—saying everything that’s been left unsaid so both people can move forward. It’s not about shouting or fighting; it’s about finally addressing the issue head-on.
When to Use It
Use “have it out with” in personal or emotional conversations:
• With friends or family: “I need to have it out with my sister about what she said.”
• At work or school (carefully!): “He had it out with his teammate after the missed deadline.”
• In storytelling or advice: “If you keep avoiding her, the tension will only grow. Just have it out with her.”
It’s informal and emotionally charged—best for speaking or casual writing, not formal emails or reports.
Example Sentences
- I’m tired of pretending everything’s fine—I’m going to have it out with him tonight.
- They had it out with each other and finally apologized.
- Don’t text about this. Come over and let’s have it out face to face.
- She said she’d rather have it out now than let the anger build.
Mini Dialogue
Jamal: “You’ve been quiet all week. What’s going on?”
Lena: “I need to have it out with you about what happened at the meeting. It really hurt my feelings.”
Common Mistakes to Avoid
Don’t use “have it out with” for small misunderstandings or polite chats—it implies strong emotion and a need for resolution. Also, never drop the “with”; the phrase always includes the person you’re confronting.
❌ Don’t say: “I had it out yesterday.” (With whom? The phrase is incomplete.)
✅ Do say: “I had it out with my roommate last night.”
✅ Do say: “If you don’t have it out with her, you’ll keep feeling resentful.”
Practice Tip
Think of a time when someone cleared the air after a conflict—maybe in a show, movie, or real life. Notice how they faced the issue directly. That’s “having it out.” Use the phrase to describe that moment: “They finally had it out with each other.”
Final Note
Now you can use “have it out with” to talk about honest, healing conversations that resolve tension. It’s a powerful phrase for real relationships—and a sign of emotional maturity in English. Keep listening for it in dramas, podcasts, or advice columns. You’re not just learning words—you’re learning how people connect.